“Silence is Golden”
I don’t know if I believe this statement: “Silence is golden.” Despite my recent post on the discipline of silence, I have trouble putting it into action in my Small Group. I think that part of the reason is that I often feel like the expectations of Small Group members (including myself) is to get together to learn from one another and from God. We come anticipating a class instead of a community.
Maybe partially because of my learning style and my penchant for reading and writing, I forget that there are times when silence in a group is a good thing. It allows people to process what they’re learning or hearing, it gives the quieter members of the group time to speak, it allows the group to come up with their own ideas or reflections before being influenced by what is shared first.
Silence also gives us a clue to what is going on with the group. Often, people will talk due to nervousness or insecurity. If someone is always jumping in to fill the void, it might be helpful to ask the group for a few seconds of quiet before sharing. Another reason people may be quiet is because their experience of the group does not fit their expectations. This may reveal to you that the group needs to have a goal-setting or “why we’re here” conversation.
Before you act to change the wordflow of your group, take some time to assess what the cause is. You may discover that the silence is a good thing.
Jen Hurst
Associate Director of Small Groups
jen.hurst@belairpres.org
